~ºChanceºxX~ (blaag) wrote,

Of Christmas and the new year and the resolutions therein...

The end of the year is approaching, and once again I'm forced back to look at last years resolutions and see how I've done, and once more it seems I've failed in the majority.
HOWEVER. I do believe that 2012 has helped me to lay some serious groundwork for some really intense things soon to come.
All in all it hasn't been a waste, and within it have been sewn some incredible memories. I'm reasonably happy with this year on the whole.

With annotations, my resolutions at the end of last year are as follows...

1) Continue exercise routine and achieve the shape I want.

I have exercised more in this year than ever before, and ended the year almost a stone lighter than I started it, though I do still really need to pick up my game with regard to this.

2) Get better with money so that I don't spend it all too quickly. Learn to budget.

No, in all honesty I have utterly failed on this front, and have the same amount of debt as before, in fact probably more.

3) Pay off all the money I owe and begin to pay off my student loan.

See above.

4) Get at least a few hours of tattooing done, either sorting back or arm.

No, I haven't achieved this, however I did get a £100 voucher for my birthday, and have started planning both of the above projects, so this is underway.

5) Finish and record an EP and/or album.

Nno, but this is far from a failure. I have finished several songs this year on guitar and written some lyrics that have amazed even myself. I'm currently in the process of adding synth and drums to those and hope to have my Facebook page launched with music in the early part of 2013.

6) Finish my book.

No, I've failed with "Devil Be Delighted", it's still amost finished but my interest is lost. I have started a new book which I believe has a lot more promise, but I'm worried that the same will happen again. Hmm.

7) Visit two or more foreign countries (including Germany for Wacken)

No, however I did visit Germany (though not for Wacken as I didn't end up going) so at least that's something.

8) Pay off my overdraft and have £0 or more in my bank on paydays.

No, I have failed on all money related resolutions this year.

9) Give up smoking, or at least be able to smoke socially only.

My smoking has cut down substantially, and really, I think that getting to the regularity in which I smoke now may actually be better than stopping entirely. I'm reasonably happy with this progress.

10) Get more sleep.

Yes, I've started getting a lot more sleep with the aid of naps, and generally I do feel better for it.

11) Eat 5-a-day and keep more hydrated.

I do need to work on my hydration levels still, but my diet has become so healthy this year that I would be foolish not to be pleased. I feel healthier and better for it.

12) Find someone with whom to converse in French.
No, this actually proved very difficult, but I have kept up my French on my own and have learned rudimentary German as well to about the same standard, which is definitely an achievement.

I do look at the progress made with this year with at least some sense of pride, but I need to discipline myself and put in a LOT more effort in 2013 in order to complete the goals I have set out to be completed before my thirtieth birthday.
In all seriousness though, I've never seen so much potential on the horizon, and I have faith in myself more for the coming year than perhaps I EVER have before.

With all of this in mind, I set out the following resolutions for 2013:

1) Cease the extravagant lifestyle at least temporarily and get my debts paid once and for all.
2) Up the amount of daily exercise I get to advance towards the shape I want.
3) Have either my arm or back tattoo touched up or redone.
4) Finish enough songs to release a physical EP and get a Facebook page up.
5) Work on my hydration levels.
6) Take and complete a course in medium to advanced German.
7) Visit at least one counrty I've never been to before.
8) Finish the first draft of one book.
9) Cease (or at least severely cut) the amount of time I spend with people that make me feel irritation or that I have wasted my time. In fact cut back on doing things in general that I don't really want to do, but perhaps feel an obligation to.
10) See each member of the select group of far-away but worthwhile friends I have that I have become distant from.

And finally, as I have completed it every year, here is the quiz thingy:

In 2012

Three Things I’ll Never Forget:
1) Festivals:
Amphi Festival - The ultimate goth beach party and my first European festival.
My first Bloodstock with Steve and Pat, and, along with Amphi, about the only real sun I got this year.
And the The Whitby Goth Weekend, a very expensive but truly one-of-a-kind experience with two of my closest friends.
2) That feeling of immense pride from recording a couple of songs on the Tascam and hearing them back.
3) Drownload - the wettest festival I've ever been to.

Three Things I Missed:
1) Alanis Morisette in Brixton. TWICE
2) Mono Inc at Amphi - still kicking myself about that
3) The Cure at Reading festival
{4) Wacken - despite having a ticket!}

Three Best Gigs:
1) William Control at the Islington Academy
2) Alkaline Trio at the Portsmouth Pyramids
3) Hundred Reasons/Hell is for Heroes at the Coronet

Three Best Books Read in 2012:
1) Total Recall (Autobiography of Arnold Schwarzenegger)
2) White Line Fever (Autobiography of Lemmy Kilmister)
3) The Dark Tourist; Sightseeing in the World's Most Unlikely Holiday Destinations by Dom Joly
(Have to note that I thoroughly enjoyed reading through all of the James Bond books this year, and my favourite of those was "Dr. No". Also I loved going through the Narnia Chronicles, the best of those in my opinion being number 4 - "The Silver Chair")

Three Great Moments:
1) Meeting Al Jourgenson after the gig in Bristol
2) So, SO many moments from the week I spend with Rick and Ryan in Whitby, but as an example? I guess Rick's crazy dancing in Vudu, or Berdermerr, or the projectile vomiting, or makeshift beer-pong with beer cans cut in half, God there are so many.
3) Blackgang Chine with Ryan and Kelly. I'm not sure I can pick a particular moment as the feeling went on all day, but perhaps when Ryan was holding my legs as I tried to escape from the "Mouth of Hell". Just pure happiness, laughing so hard I thought my sides would split. Something I'd really forgotten existed.

Three Memorable Disappointments:
1) That I still haven't finished a book.
2) Losing the memory of half the night of the Rammstein gig, which is not only disappointing but pretty terrifying as well.
3) Not being able to go to any of the geeky comic conventions that I wanted to this year.

Three People I’ve Grown Closer To:
1) Buckley
2) Claire
3) Ryan

Three People I Never See Anymore That I Want To Change:
1) Zoe
2) Sarah
3) Katie H

Three Things I Wish I Hadn’t Done:
1) Wasted so much money.
2) Wasted as much time as I did
3) Got so drunk on occasion that I wasn't in complete control of what I was saying or doing

Three Things I Wish I Had:
1) A balance of £0 in my bank the day before payday (and no credit card debt)
2) More patience
3) Some great holiday to look forward to

Three Great Accomplishments:
1) The lyrics to pretty much all of my finished songs. I have developed SO much this year with music.
2) Pretty much completely giving up gambling, and getting to a point where I'm under control when I do.
3) Taking giant steps in healing that old wound.

Eight Songs I First Heard and Loved This Year (if you haven't heard any one of them then you need to):
1) Lesser - Unburdened, Egypt, Pride (yes I'm including my own songs that you can't even listen to yet)2) Thom Yorke - 2HB (Steve Harley cover)
3) The Mission - Deliverance
4) Obscure Pleasures - My Serpentine, Night Life, The Coroner's Report
5) Killing Joke - Fema Camp, In Cythera
6) Mono Inc. - The Best of You, Symphony of Pain
7) Kidneythieves - Veteran
8) Brian Eno - The Fat Lady of Limbourg

Best Album of 2012
Obscure Pleasures - Origins

Three Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2013
1) Getting my goddamn debts paid off
2) Finally seeing Depeche Mode again!
3) Hopefully getting my bandpage and live acts started up!

Three Things I’m Concerned About In 2013
1) Money, and whether I'll be able to pay my debts off.
2) That I won't be successful in getting an EP together
3) That I won't get to see Meat Loaf on his last ever tour

Great Gigs Coming Up In 2013:
1) 69 Eyes
2) Meat Loaf
3) Blondie
4) Wednesday 13
5) Depeche Mode

Three Lessons Learned in 2012:
1) You CAN change, but it takes a fuck of a lot of effort.
2) To be free of fiscal issues, sacrifices need to be made.
3) Everything costs more than you think it will.

Average Percents This Year

Average percent of the year spent…

Sad: 19%

Happy: 56%

Lonely: 7%

Bitter: 54%

Wishing I Was Different/Someone Else: 36%

Wishing I was Somewhere Else: 88%

Missing Someone: 55%

Creating Something Worthwhile: 31%

Wasting Away: 62%

Happy new fakkin' year.
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